Love Does Not Dominate, it Cultivates

Valentines Day is traditionally a day when people make a special effort to tell those they care about that they are loved. LOVE is an action word.

It’s an oxymoron, but true. Love grows if it is given away!

  1. LOVE yourself. We can only give away what we have inside us.

  2. ENJOY giving and receiving love. Give and accept honest complements.

  3. SHOW appreciation to those you love and who love you. Most gifts do not cost money. Try a smile, an affirmation, or a hug and then see what happens.

  4. YOU decide how close you want to be with others. Take time to get to know people before deciding how much of yourself you want to share.

The many faces of love

1. Agape love describes unconditional love. Unlike other kinds of love agape love is based on choice and will, not emotion. It is neither self-serving nor performance based. Parents care for their babies this way. Perhaps you have ”over-looked” the behavior of someone who projected their anger on you when they were hurting or, you gave a Valentine to a classmate so as not to let them feel left out or hurt when others were getting something. This was agape love.

2. Phileo love is a brotherly, tender love, the kind that best describes a friendship between dear friends. Friends such as this may have grown up with you, struggled with you, and stood beside you in the ups and downs of life. Others share similar beliefs or values. With these people one can really be themselves, feel safe, and accepted.

3. Storge is a term used to describes affectionate love between family members. Families share a similar history, mutual experiences. Though not all families are close many still feel a kinship bond.

4. Eros describes a sensual, emotional, and physical connection between people. This most often refers the union between a husband and wife, lovers. With this person one shares their most intimate self, their body, soul, and spirit. People this close, usually share more than one kind of love. Often a husband and wife share eros, storge, phileo, and agape love. All people may share more than one kind of love.

“When we reach out, expecting nothing in return, we often find others reflect back to us the love we gave." 

Want to learn more? Give us a call or make an appointment with one of our qualified therapists today!

Evonne Cook

February 12, 2020


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