Should You Seek Marriage Counseling?
Most couples wait until their hurt and resentment is at such a high level that marriage counseling has become their last resort. Of course, at this stage marriage counseling is less effective than it would have been months and even years before. However, it is never to late.
Is Marriage Counseling Effective?
Some studies have shown that marriage counseling is not as effective as many believe, and that women receive more from the counseling than men, but we believe that any couple who will commit to changing their relationship will benefit from marriage counseling. Relational wounds are created in unhappy marriages and wounds heal faster when treated earlier.
Solutions Learned From Happy Couples
John Gottman's research looks at happy couples for solutions. He has discovered that even though all couples experience conflict in their marriages, happy couples apparently know how to handle their disagreements because of a foundation of affection and friendship.
Unhappy couples do not have this skill.
Gottman suggests that the goal of couple therapy needs to change. Rather than trying to change marriages, he thinks counselors should teach communication skills to couples.
If you think your marriage is in trouble, it probably is.
Every marriage relationship is unique, but there are common warning signs and red flags that indicate problems in the marriage.
Here are some of the more common warning signs of a troubled marriage.
- The two of you bicker a great deal.
- You are withdrawing from one another.
- You do not fight fair.
- You no longer have fun together.
- You have nothing nice to say to one another.
- You do not talk with one another about your problems.
- You do not respect one another.
- You can not agree on goals and values.
- You do not trust one another and feel suspicious.
- The level of sexual intimacy in your marriage is low.
- One of you, or both, has been unfaithful.
- Your spouse tries to isolate you from your family and friends.
- You are happier when your spouse is away from home for an afternoon, a meeting, or for a business trip.
- You realize that there is emotional and/or physical abuse in your marriage.
Don't Wait to Seek Professional Help
If even a couple of these behaviors are common in their marital relationship get profession help now.